Chapter 5. Further Discussions on the “Relational stress” (12)

As for her past history, Ms.A states that she was emotionally tormented by her parents in her entire childhood and adolescence. Her parents were always having a good time by themselves, going out for lunch or dinner together and leaving her alone with baby sitters all the time. According to Ms.A, her mother was very hysterical and disciplinary, and when her father came home from his work, her mother used to report to him all the bad things she had done, and he then scolded her even harsher. She once discussed a story which demonstrates, according to her, how much she was misunderstood and mistreated. One day at the dinner table, her mother talked about D, Ms.A’s female friend in their neighborhood, saying “D is really an active child.” which shocked her. Ms.A had an inferiority complex of being shy and withdrawn. She believes that her mother’s statement was a direct proof that she is not loved or wanted by her. Around the same time, she overheard her mother say to her husband “I don’t feel affection toward a child as strange as A.” which again deeply impacted her. She then became even more reticent and withdrawn at home with her parents. On the other hand, her mother remembers that when Ms.A was little, she was rather moody and unpredictable. At a time she was very cheerful and talkative, and all the sudden, without any apparent reason, she became disgruntled, sullen, and incommunicative. It was very difficult for her parents to fathom what she was really thinking.
After she returned to her parents, Ms.A soon found that living situation almost unbearable. She describes her life at home as “living in hell”. The wall is thin and she often hears her mother sigh next doors, which, to Ms.A, is a clear enough indication that she is not welcomed by her mother.