Daughters’ relationship with their mothers in their childhood tends to last after they grow up to be adults. Many of my patients indicated that whenever they hear their mother say something in a strong tone of voice, they experience a sort of time slip and feel like they are small children again. Although they are more aware of their anger and frustration toward their mothers compared to when they were small, they still want to be loved and understood by their mothers as well.
In terms of their interpersonal sensitiveness, I have an impression from most of my cases that they are very aware of others needs and are “nice” to them. In general, they are very sensitive to their treater’s needs as well. They are mindful of others’ pain and at least the main personality tends not to show overt aggressiveness toward others.
2. Factors on the mothers’ side
On the other hand, mothers often describe their daughters as” very good girls” who are obedient and can take care of themselves well. Mothers usually get very surprised to learn that their daughters had difficulty expressing their feelings in their childhood. Personalities that are created in their childhood do not usually become manifest until later on. When these personalities emerge, their mothers tend to say “My real daughter does not behave like that.” They tend to think that this is a show of dependency or laziness.
However, once the mothers become aware of their daughters’ dissociative disorder, they tend to become very active in their treatment. They look for specialized treaters through books and Internet, make an appointment for them, and escort them to the treatment. However they are rarely met by their daughters’ gratitude. Their daughters might even heighten their suspiciousness and anger toward their mothers. One patient said “Why didn’t she help me when I needed her so much in my childhood? I think that this is just a gesture. ”
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