Chapter 5. Further Discussions on the “Relational stress” (7)

First, the cases with overt trauma history. Typically dissociative withdrawal of the main personality occurs in the face of traumatic situations. One of my patients stated that when she was abused, she quickly went inside of her mind and “closed the lid”, necessitating someone else to take charge. Thus her first alter personality was created. As for the cases without overt trauma history, quite often children feel that they are ignored or misunderstood by their parents. They feel extremely lonely to the point where new personality is created and start consoling and befriending the main personality.
Although these cases with and without overt trauma are different in many ways, there is one thing in common: inhibition of the expressions of their own feelings. This inhibition might happen in various ways. Sometimes expression of their feeling is prohibited by their abusers. Sometimes children stop exrpressing their feelings spontaneously. Often these two processes go hand in hand. For example if a child is abused by her father who tells her not to talk, and the child also chooses to not to tell her mother as it might seriously trouble her.
Inhibition of the expressions of own feelings is noted in the history of almost all the DID patients. Again, it is not only limited to the cases with overt abuse or bullying. One of my patients talked about her history of witnessing a deadbody at a scene of traffic accident. She wanted to talk about the incident, but when she arrived home, her parents were in a very serious talk about their family business and she could not even talk to them. Then a new personality emerged which apparently took over this hideous memory.
This inhibition of the expression of own feeling can continue until patients become adult, or even after. Among my eight patients without over trauma, five of them are still inflicted by a thought that their mothers never really understand them.