Chapter 4. Why does Dissociation Occur ? (8)

Projective and introjective process
I consider that we have two types of coping strategy in a stressful interpersonal situation; projective and introjective strategy. When someone points out your problem, you might reject it and attribute it to that someone (or anyone else). This is the way projective strategy works.
When I was a psychiatric resident long time ago, one of my patients that I thought has BPD (borderline personality disorder) asked me her diagnosis. I was hesitant to tell her that she might have BPD as I thought that the expression of “personality disorder” sounds pejorative and demeaning. Instead, I said to her, “I think you have a sort of ‘character problem’.” As soon as I said it, I regret it, as the “character problem” sounded as bad as “personality disorder.” Next moment my fear came true. She got furious and said “I think you have a character problem yourself, telling your patient such a thing!!” She then got up and left.
Instead of projecting what you have difficulty accepting, you might introject it: you take in what someone points out to you as your problem despite yourself. Obviously, the double bind situation occurs typically in this introjective process. In that case, to avoid the painful feeling, some of you with a high dissociative capacity might end up creating a personality inside of yourself, and attribute that problem to it. This is what might be called “internal projection”.
In actual abusive situations, this introjective process is inevitable. Although you have anger and hatred toward the abuser, expressing it would elicit further abuse, and you not only suppress the negative feelings, but might take a stance of liking and being attached to the abuser. This would further enlarge the difference between how you feel and how you are supposed to feel, and thus dissociative process is enhanced.
However, similar situation might occur in a relationship with those who love you. If a parent tells you “you should do (feel) this” while giving you a message that he/she is telling you because he/she really loves you and think for you, you cannot refute it and take in, and double bind situation worsens.